Make a budget. Becoming a full time caregiver for a relative can be a sacrifice of both time and money. Take some time to weigh the costs before deciding to become a caregiver.
- If you are planning to quit a current job to care for a family member full time, consider not only the loss of income but also of benefits (such as retirement and healthcare).
- Create a list of costs for caregiving, such as medication, doctor’s visits, diet, and any special assistance that might be needed (e.g., physical therapy). Determine what will be covered by your family member’s insurance and what will be out of pocket costs.
Create a personal care agreement. If loss of employment is a concern for you, consider creating a personal care agreement. This agreement is a document that specifies future compensation, rate of compensation, and weekly hourly minimums and maximums. The personal care agreement should be agreed upon by all family members and treated as a legal document.
Hold a family meeting. Whether or not you have decided to draft a personal care agreement, holding a family meeting to discuss elder care will clarify familial roles and expectations from the outset.
- Any family member involved in caregiving activities should be present at the meeting. If the individual receiving care is well enough to be included in the decision making process, they should also be present to express their wishes.
- Have a designated facilitator for the meeting. This might be someone in the family or an outside person, such as a clergy member or social worker.
Set up a mediation. Elder care can be an especial stressful time for a family, and agreements on care might be difficult. If you can’t come to an agreement with your family members during your initial meeting, consider professional mediation.
- The National Care Planning Council, which offers elder and family mediation services, is a good place to start if you decide mediation is the best route for your family.
Document your family meeting or mediation session. You can record the meeting or designate a note-taker. You can also create a folder (whether hard-copy or digital) that includes any important health care documentation (such as the personal care agreement, records of family meetings, Medicare or insurance information, medical records, Power of Attorney, and so forth).
Clarify family roles. For instance, determine who will have Power of Attorney, who can best function as the primary caregiver, what the primary caregiver’s role and responsibilities will be (and for how long), who will be a secondary caregiver, should the primary caregiver become ill, what compensation will be provided, and so forth.
Create a schedule. Because personal caregiving can be an all-consuming job (and one that may or may not be compensated), set up a schedule for other family members to assist in caregiving.
- For instance, one sibling might volunteer to take your relative to four doctor’s appointments each month.
Communicate clearly. Although no one likes to talk about death, understanding what your relative wants and being clear about your own limitations can help to circumvent any possible misunderstandings or family arguments.
- Talk to your loved one about his or her will and end-of-life wishes. Be sure the necessary paperwork (such as your relative’s will) is up to date.
- Even after your family meeting, the primary caregiver should update the other family members involved. A weekly email or monthly video call to family members who aren’t local will help keep lines of communication open and also allows you to discuss any modifications of the initial plans or newly developed health issues.
Tell your family members when you need help. Full time caregiving can be a huge time constraint. You might need the day off to run errands or a personal “mental health day.”
- Frustrations can arise if you feel you are the only one caring for your relative and no one is helping you. However, realize that other family members just might not know the mental, emotional, and physical strains you are undergoing. Clear communication can circumvent family tensions.
Originally written by,
WikiHow
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