To travel and spoil her grandkids. Instead, she’s slipping away. I looked at her and I wondered what she would have done if she had known this was coming and I felt overwhelmed. I could be her; this disease can happen to anyone and that’s how I ended up at my mom’s house crying.
My mom and I were watching To Gillian on her 37th Birthday, which is about David, a man whose wife died two years ago, but every night he goes out to the beach where he can talk to her. Both David and all of my patients and their spouses have been robbed of the future they wanted. My patients and their families are losing the 20 years of vacations, new babies and quality time with each other they had expected to have. And they’re living in a dual reality. The person they love is still right in front of them; and yet, their partnership is ending and every day that person is a little more gone. I cried on the couch and couldn’t breathe for what everyone at work has lost and what they will lose.
What gives me hope is seeing my patients fight for their love. I never expected to learn so much about marriage; but watching my patients fight for their marriages has been my favorite part of the job. My parents got divorced when I was in third grade because, simply put, it just wasn’t working. While I’m not second-guessing the decision, it’s healing for me to see couples face huge obstacles together and win.
Martha and her husband John are terribly in love. Just as Martha’s visit is ending, John walks into the room. He usually goes and works while she stays at the hospital, stopping by to have lunch from the cafeteria with her. As John walks into the room, they smile at each other and their eyes twinkle. John asks her if she’s ready to go home, she says yes, and they get ready to go. Martha can’t tell which shoe goes on which foot, so John helps. They joke as John puts her shoe on; and if a stranger walked by, he would surely think it was an act of romance, not of necessity. John sees everything that’s happening, but they’ve chosen to live together in good spirits despite the circumstances, and they convince me that it is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all. As they get ready to leave, his hand brushes her stomach with ownership and tenderness as he tickles her. With that one sign of affection, I see that they’ve won the battle. They will love each other until death do them part and that gives me hope.
clinical trials study Story humor Alzheimer’s
By Kate Arnold
Source: https://caregiver.com/articles/a-different-vow/