From the Caregiver’s Point of View
Yes, they do compare wages and hours. So don’t think you can underpay and overwork and still have your caregiver feel good about the job.
An issue that often emerges in my caregiver workshop is how hard it is to be honest. Many caregivers feel that they might lose their job if they report something unpleasant or unsuccessful, such as their child hitting another child on a playdate or falling off a slide. (Parents, remember, you need to make your caregiver feel comfortable enough to be open.) Below are some common thoughts:
- “I’m afraid I’ll be fired if I say I need a break in the day. I’d like to take a rest when Tom naps but I’m afraid to ask.”
- “It just is too much work for me to clean and take care of the baby and toddler.”
- “Maybe once a month my train is late. I always call from the station but I still feel the parents don’t believe me when I say the train was late.”
- “I never know where I stand. The parents never compliment me. They always seem to be in a rush or tired. I feel sort of taken for granted.”
- “I can’t believe they don’t check in during the day. I never even know what time they are coming home from work.”
- “The parents are giving me the feeling that I’m not doing my job correctly because Tim cries when they leave and come home. But when Tim is with me he’s fine; he laughs, eats, naps, and seems happy.”
- “I feel angry when the mom checks up on me to make sure I haven’t given Barbara anything sweet. I feel like she is just looking to find something wrong because she doesn’t trust me.
Common Concerns
Q: My caregiver’s moodiness is driving me crazy. She seems cheerful with my children, but is often quite cranky with me.
First of all, children definitely feel the tension when the parents don’t have a pleasant, solid relationship with the caregiver. Try to straighten out the problem by directly asking your caregiver why she seems so moody. Is there something bothering her on the job or at home? If your caregiver can’t rise above her moodiness, she isn’t for you. You want an even-tempered professional taking care of your children.
Q: I’m embarrassed to admit this, but I am jealous of my caregiver’s relationship with my two-year-old.
It is hard to share your child with another person. However, if you really think about how wonderful it is that your toddler has such a good relationship, perhaps your jealousy will fade.
But if the relationship continues to make you jealous, it’s important to think about why you are so bothered. In your heart of hearts do you feel guilty that you aren’t spending enough time with your child? I also would recommend talking to your caregiver about your feelings. You don’t want your caregiver to think she should have a distant relationship with your toddler just to cool your jealousy.
I know you care about your children. I’m a parent too. I’ve more tips about parenting smart kids to share with you. Start guiding your children to success!
By Tommy Page