Dear Friend,
Not many people feel comfortable talking about their personal sex life. Or even more awkward, the sex life of their parents or grandparents!
However, several people in our Alzheimer’s and dementia community have been brave enough to ask questions related to dementia and sexual issues, which means you may have similar questions. So let’s talk!
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Karen Garner and I briefly discussed this topic during our January Live Chat. As Karen pointed out, there needs to be much more discussion around this topic because it’s a huge part of spousal relationships.
Marcella raised the question: “My husband’s sexual desire for me has increased. He’s almost 80 and he’s been diagnosed with dementia. It’s causing a problem for me and he doesn’t remember when I talk to him about it. Is there something I can do?”
Karen recommended any increase or decrease in sexual desire in your loved one with dementia should be discussed with the person’s doctor or neurologist.
On the other end of the spectrum of sexual desire, Tom said his wife ‘forgot how’ about four-five years after diagnosis and he was wondering if that’s normal. Karen had a similar experience with her husband. Many caregivers in that situation ask, “How do I know when it’s time to stop?”
Karen shared a conversation she had with a caregiver who knew it was time to stop having sex with her husband when he didn’t know what to do anymore.
So whether you’re experiencing sexual issues with your spouse, or you’re the son or daughter worrying about a change in your parents’ relationship due to dementia, know that you’re not the only one facing those issues. As with any dementia-related issue, it’s always best to talk it through with a doctor-and with other caregivers.
Do you have a dementia and sex question, or maybe some advice to share with other caregivers? Feel free to email me at livechat@homeinstead.com. I’ll come back to this topic again in a future email. I’m not afraid to cover such a “taboo topic” if I know it will help the caregivers in our community!
Thank you to: